The Importance of Rites of Passage

By Babette Lacy

As we go through life, we reach significant milestones that are often marked by some sort of celebration, a birthday party would be an example. Each year we celebrate a passage into the next, we celebrate ageing in a sense. We may celebrate the birth of a baby, or a retirement, or the passage of years of marriage.


In our culture, we are sorely lacking significant Rites of Passage. All too often in this culture we advocate a young man’s passage into manhood by a distorted sort of ritual like; have some liquor, here are the car keys, find a young woman and have a good time. Other times an event goes unnoticed, unacknowledged, unconfirmed and unfortunately, neglected. Young men and young women alike are really not coached and guided into adulthood. Imagine a culture where young adults were taught by their elders what it means to take on the responsibility of adulthood. Imagine being taught the roles and responsibilities of being a young adult rather than being a child. Then later, imagine being taught by those whom you respect how to take on the roll of being a mother or a father. Perhaps we would have fewer adults acting like children if we were to implement such passages. Later in life, imagine being celebrated and honored for your wisdom and knowledge. Not merely having a celebration of your contribution of time to the work force.

My view is that we need to adjust our celebrations a bit, and have celebrations that come from a more heart centered place. I think we have forgotten the real meaning of some of our celebrations. They have begun to lack significance and substance. Imagine how your life might have been different if you were taught by loving friends and family members at each of life’s vital crossroads. Imagine being lovingly and purposefully coached into the next phase of life. Perhaps then there wouldn’t be such struggle and resistance to the next phase of life. Perhaps life events would take on a deeper level of meaning and become less accidental.

The idea of the Maiden, Mother and Crone or the Man, Father, and Elder Rites of Passage is about remembering the magnitude of these stages of life. To approach these phases of life with the love and support of those who care about you is to receive a magnificent blessing.

Please join us on 10-10-10 as we celebrate the phase of life we call the Crone. This is a time when we honor the wisdom and knowledge of older women. These are women who have contributed so much to our lives; they have cared for us when we were not well, they have taught us about all aspects of life, they have nurtured our spirits, they have lead us by positive example, they have been our foundations of strength, they have been our coaches, mentors, counselors and beloved friends.